Countdown To 50: 434 Days To Go

April 9, 2026

I’m journalling my way to 50 as a precursor to launching my next project What Charlie JOURNALS: the 1-7 journalling method - 1 prompt 7 brain dumps, 17 minutes a day for 17 days.

Today’s journalling prompt: Days that led me here.

Countdown To 50: 434 Days To Go

Day 1: no literally, day one, the day of my birth and the way it gave me my lucky number 17 which is basically my whole personality and by the way the time of my birth being 11.17 too???? Exquisite.

Day 2: the day I got my first job because until that moment I had no idea who I was or what I was capable of or that I was a whole person outside of my (shit show of a) home with people who liked me and looked out for me and gave me the nickname Charlie and thought I was funny and good.

Day3: the day I got seated next to Rachel Cassidy in RE because the nun taking the class wanted us sat in alphabetical order to discourage shenanigans but little did she know that thanks to her my era of shenanigans would finally get going because I went from this little known geek to hanging with the cool kids and 40 years later I love and am so grateful for our long distance friendship.

Day 4: funnily enough my 17th birthday because it came at the end of a period where i was finally coming into my own and somehow without chaos or embarrassment i was able to have my friends over for a caribbean barbecue family party at my Home and if you’ve read my letter to my 17 year old self you’ll know the highlight was an unscripted visit from my mischievous uncle Jerome.

Day 5: the day I arrived at uni my GOD thank fuck i went because i nearly didn’t but this is where that friendship with Rachel was the gift that kept on giving. Getting to walk in there and throw off my old life and introduce myself as Charlie and bury the past and the girl called Carolynn and the share house I was randomly allocated being House 17? Yeah the universe knew exactly what the fuck she was doing.

Day 6: you know what it’s actually the day before I arrived at uni when my Nana came to sleep over and we stayed up in my room all night talking about her youth and her childhood and I’m grown enough to understand that this was the purest form of girlhood and the memory of that night has sustained me through more storms than my Nana could ever have known it would x

Day 7: we’re time travelling to a spiritual moment i had with my Nana where, bear with me, I felt her spirit chide me for putting her framed photo next to my testicles of lesser men trinket box (got it from My Good China & she’s stopped making them now 😭), so I quipped back well if you hadn’t died on me I wouldn’t be able to and a few moments later completely out of nowhere I had this insane awakening about my shopping addiction and clothes hoarding where I was whisked back to clearing her closet after she passed (honestly I’m not even sure I was there but it was SO clear) and most of her Sunday best was unworn and still wrapped in the plastic they give you at the dry cleaners and I understood she was holding onto it all like a visual representation of the idea of wealth (immigrants get it) and then she very clearly sent me the message “that’s my money story not yours” and it was such a SLAP in the face that I gasped and i felt her smirk at me like well that’s what you get for being so damn cheeky 😭 Of course I know that’s a lil bit woo woo for some of you but, future (current) Charlie who just marked one year of not buying anything from ASOS (trust me when I say I don’t need to), this is 1000% the day that led me to you x